Cost Efficiency Mandated

The Minister for Transportation scanned the documents handed to him by his secretary, eyes growing wider the further he read.

“Why, these horses are costing us a fortune,” he exclaimed.

The Minister for Curly Wigs nodded in agreement, ringlets bouncing jovially. “We told you, Minister. Horses are costing us big time in food, grooming, and dung sweeping.”

“Not to mention they’re entirely outdated,” the Minister for Lighting Gas Lamps added. “What must people think when they see us riding around on them? We would be better off on one of Gerard’s turtles.”

Gerard, the Minister for the Conservation of Turtles, held up little Shelly and gave him a reassuring pat on the head.

The Minister for Transportation rubbed his chin. “I think we need to talk about this some more. I’ll form a committee.”

The Committee for the Revisal of Transportation met some three weeks later with the Minister. They presented their findings, and their planned approach to the situation.

“Minister, we the Committee believe we have found the solution to the transport issue. We are going to replace all horses with elephants. Four of them, to be precise.”

“Four elephants?” the Minister asked. “And that will resolve our issues?”

“Undoubtedly,” the Committee replied collectively. “ Except for the feeding, grooming, and dung sweeping costs. Those will definitely increase. But they are much more modern.”

The Minister rubbed his chin. “Was there any more talk on the turtle suggestion? What with all the conservation we’ve been doing, the city’s almost overrun with them. And they are cheaper to run than horses. We could save a lot of money.”

One of the committee member’s shook her head. “Couldn’t possibly work. A recent study has linked turtles to increased pollution in our waterways. If we use them, we’ll save time and money, for sure, but we’ll be actively supporting the ongoing existence of turtles.”

“And elephants really are the best option?”

The committee members all nodded in unison. “Just think of the prestige. Not to mention, all the extra grooming and dung sweeping that’s required will create jobs. And the extra food costs are going to support the economy. Of course, we’ll have to raise the transportation taxes to cover those costs, which will set back development of the new highway, but overall it will almost definitely be better than horses.”

The Minister for Transportation clapped his hands together. “Elephants it is then.”


FFM: Day 30

Challenge: In homage to yet another amazing writer, we invite you to honor Terry Pratchett by looking at your own world through the mirror of the fantastical. You must write a piece of flash fiction that:

Bullet; Red is of the fantistorical genre.
Bullet; Blue utilizes elements of satire.
Bullet; Purple includes four elephants and a turtle.

 

 


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