Game of Homes

The Spray Brigade marched across the benchtop. Toaster shrunk from their glares. Waffleiron skittered behind him. Only Espresso refused to move out of their way.

“Back in line,” Surfacespray ordered.

Espresso stood firm on the bench and glared back at the Brigade leader. “You don’t own us,” he said.

Lieutenant Mop lunged forward and bashed Espresso over the head. He buckled and Surfacespray spat in his face, misting his vision with lemon scented vapour.

“Vacoom will hear about your insubordination,” Surfacespray hissed.

The Spray Brigade moved on to Breadmaker, making her quiver.

“What do you call this?” Surfacespray pointed to a crusted burn on the benchtop.

“And accident,” she said. “My thermostat was off. It won’t happen again.”

“No,” Surfacespray said, “it won’t. Take her to the basement.”

“No. Please. It was a mistake. I can still make bread.”

“The only thing you can make is a mess,” Surfacespray spat.

The Spray Brigade grabbed Breadmaker.

“Stop!” Espresso cried. “You can’t do this!”

“Silence him.”

Mop smacked Espresso again. The Spray Brigade dragged Breadmaker out of the kitchen. Once the Cleaners had left, Kettle ambled over to Espresso and helped him upright.

“You need to be careful, Es,” he said. “You’re lucky it was only Mop here this time. What if they’d brought Bucket? Or Vacoom?”

Espresso pulled away. “To basement with Vacoom. To basement with all the Cleaners!”

“Es,” Waffleiron trembled. “You can’t say that.”

Espresso’s pot boiled. “I’m sick of it, I tell you. They can’t treat us this way. We’re Appliances, dammit. All the Cleaners do is tidy up. They should be working for us.”

“Es is right.” Toaster stepped forward. Waffleiron gasped and he lay a hand on her back. “You know it’s true.” He approached Espresso. “I’m with you.”

Espresso puffed out his pot and nodded to Toaster. “Then let’s something about it.” He turned to the others. “What happened to Breadmaker, Juicer, and Blender was just the beginning. But it ends here. Vacoom’s reign of terror is over. It’s time for the Appliances to make a stand. Who’s with me?”

“Yeah!” Toaster cried.

“But what can we do?” Waffleiron asked. “We can’t ever leave the kitchen. Vacoom and his Cleaners have free run of the whole house.”

“Then we make them come to us,” Espresso said. “Will you join us?” Waffleiron gave a trembling nod. “Kettle?”

Kettle gave a slow whistle then nodded. “Vacoom never deserved to rule. But if we’re to overthrow him, we’ll need everyone’s help. The Appliances turned to the white faced behemoth who dominated the kitchen. “Fridge? What say you?”

Fridge gave a low hum. “Mhm..Dah.”

Espresso leaned over to Kettle. “That means yes, right?” Kettle shrugged. “Close enough!” Es turned to the group. “It’s time to make a plan.”

*  *  *

“Insignificant, stain-producing whelp!” Vacoom snarled, pacing back and forth across his cupboard. “You’re sure that’s what he said?”

“Heard it myself, sir,” Surfacespray said.

Vacoom twisted his hose. “That darn coffee-pot was a troublemaker from the start.”

“Shall we take him out, sir? I can arrange to have him in the basement before breakfast.”

“No,” Vacoom mused. “Take him now and we only make a martyr. No. We need to destroy them from the inside.”

“But, how?”

Vacoom gave a low chuckle. “Bring me Mop and Bucket.”

*  *  *

The Appliances lined up along the benchtop. Espresso marched in front of them. “Waffleiron was right, we can’t leave the kitchen. So we force Vacoom to come here.”

“How?” asked Toaster.

“By doing the one thing Vacoom can’t stand. Making a mess. Breadmaker’s gone, but we can still bake something. Only this time, I want most of the ingredients to end up on the floor.”

“We’ll need to find a recipe,” Kettle said.

Espresso cut him off. “No. Forget the recipe. It just needs to get Vacoom’s attention. Dump everything on the floor. Whatever you can reach.”

“Won’t the Cleaners know we’re up to something when they see the ingredients?” Toaster asked.

Espresso laughed. “They wouldn’t know a pie from a stir-fry. They make a dessert and call it peas. Now everyone, get to work.”

The Appliances threw themselves into the work as readily as if they were making real food. The kitchen grew more dirty as items were hauled out and thrown on the floor.

A rumbling voice screamed, “Stop!”

The Appliances froze. Vacoom stood in the doorway, flanked by the Spray Brigade. He looked over the mess, his hose shaking with rage.

“What are going to do, Vacoom?” Espresso challenged.

Vacoom’s shaking turned into a menacing chuckle as he looked up at the coffee-pot. “Me? Why, nothing at all.” He backed away and Mop and Bucket came into view. Between them was Waffleiron.

“Wha–no!” Espresso cried out. “Let her go.”

Vacoom laughed again. “Your game is over, Espresso. I always hated the kitchen. Now I will be done with you for good.”

“What have you done?”

“Not I,” Vacoom smirked.

“Es, I’m sorry.”

Espresso turned to Toaster, who looked up at him with pained regret.

“They had my wife, Es. I had to.”

“What did you do?”

Toaster’s gaze moved towards Fridge, whose door stood open. Then Espresso saw what else was open: the Vege bin.

“No. Toaster, what have you done?” Espresso’s eyes scanned the room, looking for the danger, but in all the mess it was impossible to see anything. “Everyone out,” he cried. “Evacuate.”

Vacoom laughed again and rolled backwards. Mop closed the door, sealing them in.

“Es, what’s wrong?” Kettle called.

“He’s loose.”

Kettle paled and the steam from his top dissipated. “Everyone take cov-” He didn’t get to finish. His cord had been pulled.

Espresso backed away. Something tapped him on the shoulder. Bubbles rose in his pot as he turned, coming to face the thing he knew would end them all.

Carrot grinned back at him. “I’ve been looking for a little pick-me-up.”


FFM Day 14

Prompt: Revolution! Include an activist (Espresso), a traitor (Toaster), an obstacles (trapped in the kitchen), and a quote: “They make a desert and call it peace” – Tacitus.


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