The Forbidden Isle of Sapphic Bloodlust was far prettier than its name suggested, Garrett thought as he strutted down the gangway, treading carefully so as not to catch a heel in the gap between the boards. His tight, leopard print pants showed off his shapely legs, and taut buttocks quite successfully, he thought. When facing angry dragons, it really was important to look one’s best, which is why Garrett was also wearing his tiara.
He did wonder if wearing the item he had stolen from the previous dragon whilst going to face the current dragon was just playing with fire, but if playing with fire wasn’t his thing, he probably wouldn’t be here in the first place.
Reaching the docks, Garrett paused to pose, one leg out tantalisingly, and his shirt open just enough to display his, well, not exactly toned, but certainly flesh covered chest, with curly hairs swaying in the breeze and all.
“Where is this devilish drake?” Garrett called, straightening his tiara, and pushing one hip out to the side, buttocks clenched captivatingly.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Vanessa shoved past him, a faint smell of smoke still wafting from her. “I want that thing’s head for what it did to my ship.”
Garrett chanced a glance back at the ship and winced. Scorch marks blazed along its side and a chunk was missing from the port side. That really was a whole lot of fireballs.
“Never fear, Cap’n,” he called, drawing his cutlass and swinging to the other hip as he raised it. He really was a striking specimen. If it were possible to slay dragons with sexiness, Garrett was sure he would be the champion.
Looking at the sandy shore, Garrett almost second guessed his choice of footwear. But no. No amount of silly sand would make him sacrifice these pumps. One step off the dock and he sunk heel-deep into the sand, then flopped onto his face. There he lay, spread on the beach, as magnificent as a beached trout in a new pair of truly beautiful pumps. But like the fabulous flamingo he was, he pushed on.
It was at that moment that the dragon chose to appear, rising over the small hill in the centre of the desert island. It was also that moment when Garrett remembered that the Forbidden Isle of Sapphic Bloodlust didn’t have a hill last time he was here.
As the small mountain unfurled its wings and opened one very large eye, Garrett started to wonder if Bill’s idea of hiding in a barrel hadn’t been such a bad one after all. But Garrett was not one for quitting, and so, with his cutlass raised, chest bare, and lips in a perfect pout, he charged.
The dragon watched him approach with something like mild amusement across its gargantuan face. Then its eye spotted the gleaming tiara and narrowed like date options the night before prom. Opening its maw, a glow appeared from within.
The fireball smacked Garrett full in the face, blasting him off his feet and sending his shoes spiralling into the distance. He hit the ground, bounced once, twice, and rolled right past Vanessa, who watched him with an expression like a slapped bag of frogs.
Garrett staggered to his feet, rubbed soot out of his eyes, and coughed once. Reaching up, he checked to see if his tiara was still there. It wasn’t. And neither was his hair.
Garrett yelped, feeling over his head for his luscious locks that were no longer there. Turning frantically, he raced back up to the ship.
“Bill!” he cried.
His lover’s head popped out of a barrel. Bill’s eyes widened as he took in Garrett’s soot blacked appearance, his singed chest hairs, and bald, slightly smoking scalp. He stood with his bare toes curled in, and hands out to the sides, shaking them as if he could jazz-hands the mess away.
“Be honest, Bill,” Garrett said, face screwed up like a cat’s royal behind. “How bad does it look?”
Bill looked Garrett up and down, doing his best not to cringe at the smoking eyebrows, and was glad he had decided to spend a few days at home with the family. Forcing a smile he said to Garrett, “You look wonderful, dear.”
FlashFictionMonth day 13
Wordcount: 714
Challenge:
Roll a virtual die three times to get three different numbers. Use those numbers to select your prompts from the tables provided.
I rolled:
3 – a desert island
6 – a pleasant lie
10 – Write a response to someone else’s flash (Fabulous Fireballs by IntelligentZombie)
C. A. Harland 