“Can anyone tell me the number one long-term hazard in the vigilante business?” the instructor asked the class. “Anyone?”
“Gunshot wounds?” the Red Monkey suggested, half-raising a hand.
“No,” the instructor said. “Half of you are bullet proof anyway. Come on, the biggest hazard. Who else?”
“Broken bones?” Captain Crystal called out.
“Lasers!” Gun Girl added.
“Being frozen in a vat of liquid nitrogen, then drop kicked into the sun!”
Everyone in the class turned to look at Hyperman, who returned their stares without blinking.
“It could happen,” he spat.
“Uh, no, no, and no,” the instructor said with a barely retained sigh. “The number one cause of long term injury in the super hero industry is SAD, or Siren Affected Deafness.”
Captain Crystal raised a hand. “I thought SAD meant-”
“I decide the acronyms!” the instructor cut him off. Clearing his throat, he continued in a calmer tone. “Siren Affected Deafness is a very serious issue, especially for those of you with super hearing. Now, everyone please take out your industry-issued earplugs, and let’s practice ‘catching the terrorist’ in silence. Red Monkey, you’re playing the terrorist.”
“What?” Red Monkey said, speaking too loud as he couldn’t hear his own voice.
“Go!”
As one, the other heroes piled on top of Red Money, who gave a startled screech. The instructor called a halt, but no one heard him. He decided tomorrow’s lesson would be titled “The perils of earplugs”.
FlashFictionMonth day 23
Wordcount: 239
Prompt: Safety training for superheroes – Suggested by Ozuchi-Kozuchi
C. A. Harland 