“We need more magic in this room,” the Fable Book said, and proceeded to cough out a few fairies and a cloud of pink pixie dust.
“No, no, no,” the Garden Book argued, as it always did, swatting away fairies with its glossy, image filled pages. “If you want to brighten this place up, it should be with a few well placed shrubs and a water feature. It spat out a pair of box hedges and a paving stone.
“That’s boring,” Fable book whined. “This is a library, a place of magic.” It discharged a tiny pink dragon and two unicorns. The unicorns ganged up on the dragon and began chasing it around the shelf, egged on by the watching fairies.
Garden book kicked one of the unicorns, sending it spinning away to collide with a fairy. Both fell to the shelf with a tiny wumph. “Get your head out of the clouds, Fable. A library is a place of order and structure. We have a filing system, for page’s sake.” It added another paving stone and considered the best spot for the park bench.
Fable turned away with a huff, picked up its unicorn and fairy, and placed them both upright on the shelf. “No fun,” it muttered, shooting dark looks at Garden Book.
“Ahoy, explorers,” a voice boomed, and the Adventure Book leapt into their midst, its paperback cover rippling in the gentle breeze that came from nowhere, but seemed to follow Adventure Book around, just for the rippling effect.
“What are you doing here?” Garden Book grumbled, straightening the box hedges that Adventure Book had knocked down.
Fable Book blushed and tried to hide its title, but Adventure Book had already seen it.
“Fable Book, my beauteous, wonder-filled tale of delight, how fares thee?”
“I told you not to call me that,” Fable Book said. “We’re not together anymore, you can’t just call me things.”
“But, treasure-trove, my binding yearns for thee like a distant shore, like the smell of adventure on the wind, like the promise of a land untamed, like–”
“Alright, that’s enough, both of you,” Garden Book snapped. “Adventure Book, can’t you see we’re busy trying to decorate this place?” With that, it coughed up a topiary in the shape of a swan, two potted plants, and a small koi pond.
“Oho, I can help with that,” Adventure Book announced, then tossed out a small ship into a koi pond, and added tiny man in khaki, with binoculars around his neck. The explorer started by examining the hedges, but when he spotted a rogue unicorn, he took off after it at full speed, tripped, and fell off the edge of the shelf. They didn’t hear him hit the floor.
“Ah,” said Adventure Book, with a touch of awkwardness. “Should have given him this.” It then spat out a jet propelled flying machine. It was snatched by a unicorn who used it to chase the dragon through the air. The jet pack set the shrubs on fire, and the ship had decided to fish up the koi and was now in the process of slaying it with harpoons.
“Oh, look what you’ve done!” Garden Book bellowed. “You’ve ruined everything. You two with your hocus and your pocus and your swanning off all the time. Why can’t anyone just sit down and enjoy a koi pond for once?”
“Shhh,” Fable Book hissed.
“Do not shhh me!”
“You may want to keep it down,” Adventure Book added. “You’ll wake it up.”
Garden Book froze with a look of horror. At the sound of a low grumble, all three turned to the dark end of the shelf. The koi used the distraction to swallow the ship, then shot its tongue out to catch a fairy and ate that too.
Something moved in the corner, and the other books retreated in fear.
“Too late,” Fable Book said. “It’s awake. The Jungle Book.”
The Jungle Book arose and shuffled forward sleepily. Blinking at the light, its face screwed up and its covers fell open in a wail. The green explosion smothered them all in vines and creepers.
“Oh pages,” Garden Book cried. “It’s so chaotic.” Vines covered it, with monkeys swinging through them. Garden Book sucked in several deep breaths, trying to prevent a panic attack, but it accidentally swallowed a bug, then began to cry profusely.
Fable Book and Adventure Book backed together, trying to ward off the encroaching jaguars, snakes, wolves, and chimpanzees.
“Just like the old days, huh?” Adventure Book said.
“I hated the old days,” Fable Book moped. “We’re done for.”
Just then the lights flicked on and the Almighty wandered in. A giant hand reached towards the shelf, snapped the Jungle Book closed, and dragged it away. The vines and creepers and animals vanished and the other books stared at each other in wonder.
Adventure Book straightened its pages and turned to Fable Book. “What do you say, wonder-tale, shall we have another go at our happily ever after?”
Fable Book looked up at Adventure Book with a smile, then shook its head and cried, “Charge!” And an army of unicorns, fairies, and a small dragon shoved Adventure Book right off the shelf.
Flash-Fic-Month day 20
Write a story that incorporates Surreal Humor. The genre speaks for itself — entertain us and disorient us in equal measure.
The conflict must be resolved using Deus ex Machina as a narrative technique.
Lastly, the following must appear at some point in your story: a deity, an ex-lover, and a machine.
Prompt: Literary jungles.